I thought this might be an appropriate follow-up on the heels of spiritual abuse in the church. I will once again be discussing this mostly from the perspective of when there is scandal within Christian communities. This is because abuse from Christians is always scandalous. (Please also consider reading this through even if you’re not within this community. Maybe some things can apply to your community.)

Why would you say that?

Here is the meaning of the word “scandal”: an action or event regarded as morally or legally wrong and causing general public outrage

If we consider the first half of this meaning, any abuse from Christians is always scandalous behavior. This is because abuse is directly opposed to the morals we say we hold to. It is definitely directly opposed to the teachings of Jesus, and also, overall, opposed to the message of the Bible in its entirety.

The last part of this is “causing general public outrage”. First, I will say that I’ve been part of communities where I wish their behavior had sparked “general public outrage”. Some of these communities were Christian and some were not. Sadly, in some communities, the ONLY WAY for the abuses to stop or be changed IS the application of “public outrage”.

To my fellow Christian community, I will say this, I know it is so hard when those outside our community judge, cancel, demean us when scandals happen. I want you to consider this: They are outraged because they expect more from people who say they expect more from themselves and the world. Not only that, but MANY are looking to us to see if our actions will match what we say we believe. No, we are not perfect, and the rest of the world truly isn’t expecting perfection from us. What I see is that most people truly want us to be like Jesus. I know that many from my community will argue that. However, I have seen that when we apply real love, our voices can be heard. Even within our community. Personally, I don’t want to listen to someone coming at me without a loving demeanor. At the same time, correction that is given in love is sweet and strengthening. Please consider those words. We are called to kindness.

To my beloved friends and readers that don’t share my faith walk. Please also be sure to be kind. I try not to “flaunt” grace, as I’ve seen many do. At the same time, I am thankful for it. I’m thankful every time someone understands that I’m imperfect and that I sometimes (and sometimes often) do stupid things. I need to humble myself and ask people for forgiveness more often than I’d like to confess. When you see scandal in the church, please please don’t condemn ALL of us.

To everyone, I want to say, as I did in my previous topic, scandal happens in every community. I am going to point out some specifics now, so we can all understand we all have these issues in some way or another.

The LGBTQIA+ community right now has some struggles. There are voices within the community that are not in agreement with each other. The main message of this community is love, inclusivity, and acceptance. Yet, there is much infighting, and there are areas in which there is public outrage over this. This is a community of which I once was a part. I have seen these struggles in this community just as I have seen them within the Christian community.

In political communities, strong voices ultimately have been found to have double standards. In every political community. We strongly fight against one thing while harboring something equally ugly. When that hidden thing we’ve been harboring comes to the surface, there is outrage. Or we often turn a blind eye to something harmful being done by those whose politics we support while pushing for public outrage regarding those we don’t. I don’t agree with this, my friends. We are called to live lives that are above reproach. Living out our politics in such a manner gives the appearance of hypocrisy.

None of us are immune from scandal. How we respond to it, then, becomes important. Within my faith community, we often want to sweep scandal under the rug. We need to be both wise and gentle when hearing about scandal. Slow to speak and slow to get angry. When we slow down to get mindful, we can take a more sensible approach.

We will continue to discuss this and spiritual trauma. Please let me know in the comments; what do you think is a sensible way to respond to scandal?

Be Well, Beautiful Friends!

-Kayleen Soden, Wellness Coach